Golden Throat  n.  idol; adored person; mellifluous song bird; Heart throb of America; lovely and talented.

His name is Golden Throat, from the body of the same name. As a child he always wore separate shoes. He was brought up in a little one-horse town. The horse shot himself so Golden Throat was forced to break the horse’s leg.
His father had been incarcerated in a gentlemen’s rest home on charges of wearing mosquito net hats, illusions of grandeur and terminal ducks disease. He was never to realize his dream to build a miniature calibrated Turkish Boot Lathe.
 

 As a young student his fellow classmates considered him to be quite serious despite the fact that he always kept a chicken in his underwear. He began to realize that he was gifted with an uncanny wisdom when noticing that everyone had heeded the advice he put in the Grad book. Never put a piano up your nose. For years he was obsessed with his collection of beach sand. Finally it became just too much and he paid a group of moving men to take it away in a huge truck and evenly distribute it among the beaches on the West Coast. Perhaps you’ve seen it.

 

Ron Richtofen grew up in Vancouver, British Columbia. It was in elementary school that he first showed his propensity and had to stand in the corner for two hours. By the time he was to finish school he had learned to read French and many other words besides. At the age of seven he was playing chess on a professional level. During the next six years he was to play over 4000 professional games of chess completely blindfolded. He never won a game. Ron believes that he has the ability to levitate birds and claims to have once taught a brick to stay completely still and make no noise. Many believe that his most likable quality is his sense of personal humility, despite the fact that he constantly whispers, “I am better than you.”
 

Victoria Vox : Despite her early years growing up in the circus, constantly wearing wax lips and disguising herself as a waffle, Victoria yearned for a normal life where she could know the joy of sitting on a water hose. At the age of seven having lied about her height, she joined a professional basketball team. This experience was called short as she learned the heartbreak of dismissal when they found her howler monkey abusing the team mascot. Since she was a child she had been teased about having a large mole on her back. However, the life expectancy of moles being what they are found the mole dead by the time she was thirteen leaving only the

claw marks it had made while holding on all those years. At age fourteen, she began playing the grand piano in a marching band. By nineteen, she was traveling all around the world, playing her music and selling pieces of knotted string. It took years for her to overcome her fear of swimming in fish infested water and with this new sense of courage she again threw herself into her music breaking two ribs. She has unmistakably raised the bar for keyboard players around the world and humbly accepts the understated title of Canada’s greatest keyboard player with her name.
 

Prince Milligan hails from Scotland. He was said to have done other things but the Scots remember him mostly by his hailing. Several years ago he lost his entire fortune by misplacing his wallet. He loves to go to the finest restaurants in the world. One day he may go inside. The tales of his promiscuous provocative and fragrant entanglements with the opposite sex are merely ill-conceived and slanderous rumors that he wishes he had never started. Any noise from his hotel room can usually be credited to him having sat on his hat. He survived a fall from the window of a six story building once. He said his life flashed before his eyes. He was still applauding when he hit the ground.
 

Harry’s background is rather vague, incapable of speech as we know it, he still communicates on the lowest levels telling us when he’s on fire or starving. He lives in a very small cage and experiences a give and take lifestyle. He does not have to work, so we don’t give him much exercise, he goes to the toilet a lot, so we don’t give him much food. It all works out well despite his foul temperament. This is something non of us can explain and we beat him regularly because of it.
It was the Professor who captured Harry in the jungles of Africa while on safari. What the Professor was doing in the jungle we do not know. How Harry was able to sign on with a safari is anybody’s guess. Ever

since, The Professor has had to begrudgingly share a hotel room with Harry while touring on the road. This is not permitted in many of the finest hotels and the Professor passes Harry off as his wife. Often, this is candidly accepted by hotel administration without an argument. This infuriates the Professor, who secretly believes he could do better. As of late, Harry has been seen carrying his own luggage, containing women’s underwear and lingerie. The Professor claims that this legitimizes his story, he is truly a stickler for details.