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The Broadway musical, “Golden Throat”
is a big hit. The year is 1938 and he is the star of stars. He is the
paragon of masculinity; the pinnacle of charisma; the matinee idol to
which all others would henceforth be compared. The question in the
minds and hearts of the general public remains the same:
Why has
Golden Throat and the Heartaches Razz Band occasionally vanished from
the music scene right at the height of success? |
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Golden Throat, the true artist, when
faced with the fact that he was the World’s Greatest Washboard Player
of 1938, the man dubbed, “Golden Spats”, the year's most innovative
dancer with less than twenty-five falls, and the world’s most
provocative crooner, remained dissatisfied. Records show that this
accounts for their first disappearance. During this period it was
thought that they had moved to Uruguay. This theory would explain the
origin behind songs like the Uruguay Stomp, The Himmler Hop and the
Bolivian Hip Crank.
Their surprise reemergence in the 1970s
was to last but a decade. It was considered a delight in the music
industry, and many musicians were disappointed when the seventies
proved to last only ten years.
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What of the rumours that they had been
cryogenically frozen during the thirty year span following that first
extended vacation in South America?
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True, Golden Throat was
as lovely as ever, Professor Harguff’s liver seemed to
actually be in better shape, and Ron Richtofen ’s one of a
kind, snow-white electric upright bass and sexual confidant still
appeared to be in showroom condition. What of the appearance of
British royalty in the form of Prince Milligan? In which way does
this thicken the plot? We may never know. This could easily be the most
clever cover-up since Golden Throat’s splendid
blanket-over-the-head “I’m not Golden Throat! I’m not Golden Throat! “
scene in the movie “Golden Throat Escapes From Alcatraz.” |
Between 1980 and 2005 we have twenty-five
years that are still unaccounted for. Will we ever really know where
they have been? Look for the release of their new movie,
“Sleeping” with the Heartaches Razz Band. Or the XXX rated version,
“Sleeping With The Heartaches Razz Band.” Coming to an illegitimate
theatre near you.
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